But the combination of leaving a relationship in which we shared many mutual friends, and no longer socializing in bars, dissolved many of my friendships.The isolating side effect of depression didn’t make finding new friends easier.In cinematic portrayals of love and depression, the sad girl’s partner usually has good intentions. The trouble is, you can set groundwork for a relationship dynamic that is difficult to unweave later, says New York City-based sex therapist Kelly Wise.When the depressed partner begins to recover and gain autonomy, the “savior” partner may find themselves uncomfortable with the new power balance. However as my friend Ashley, who suffers from Major Depressive Disorder and wished only to use her first name, explained: “After a while, they give up.We are worried about the predators who come at it from a place of bad intention—a person who probably has either a narcissistic or antisocial personality, somebody who lacks empathy.”Indeed, one of the most twisted guys I dated during my lowest was a man whose label read “Antisocial Personality Disorder.” He wore it loudly through lies, a lack of empathy, and eventually, verbal abuse.Those with mental disorders such as Narcissistic Personality Disorders and Antisocial Personality Disorder are especially eager to take advantage of someone who is depressed because it’s all about their needs.
Essentially, my radar for picking well-meaning partners was broken because my self-esteem had gone dry.Perhaps most importantly, I built up friendships and community that provided love, support, and companionship without expectations of sex.I know the demons I saw still exist, I simply now understand how to slay them.With the support of friends, family, and sometimes therapy, you’re less likely to rely on unhealthy partners as a means of companionship.
“You need to have your radar up, and if your radar is not operating properly then you need to operate on the radar of people who love you.
This is not necessarily problematic, explained clinical psychologist and relationship expert Barbara Greenberg, but it can become a substantial cause for concern for those experiencing severe suffering who may be less likely to protect themselves. I later found out this can be a typical occurrence for people who are depressed.