And heaven help you if you planned to have dinner with friends of yours at 7pm. Remember that manipulation is when your partner gets you to do something you really wish you hadn’t. A controlling partner may take over financial decisions, whether he earns more or less than you.She won’t get into the shower until , so you’ll be calling to apologize, and inconveniencing everyone as you all wait for her. This person likes getting you outside your comfort zone, because then he is pulling the strings, getting one over on you. If you earn less, he may require you to ask permission to buy things, seriously restricting even rare personal purchases, or may demand a long and/or emotional discussion of even trivial expenses.It’s much easier to for him control you when you’ve decided your loved ones just don’t understand your mate, and soon, you have no one but him to turn to. Recognize excessive jealousy or possessiveness as a danger signal.If your partner is protective of you, that’s sweet. Consider whether she constantly nags about how long it takes you to make a trip to the market or to the post office.Severing your ties to the familiar stability of the world you have always known means he has just made himself the center of your universe, and now has no competition for your attention. There’s just enough weirdness to make you stop and think, but not quite enough to get you to re-evaluate the entire relationship. Cutting you off from your support systems helps him gain dominance over you – and you think it’s your decision.If this happens more than once, STOP and remind yourself that this isn’t the first time you’ve had this reaction. Controlling people treat your friends with disrespect, but when alone with you, they never say a bad word about those friends, but rather is kind, loving, and complimentary to you about them – it makes you believe your family or friends are simply jealous, don’t understand him, etc.
Instead, you’re always changing plans to do what she wants.Before you can regain your individuality and strength, you’ll need to determine if the relationship is taking something away, and, if so, put an end to the destructive cycle.For the purposes of the article, we’ll alternate between male and female gender examples (“him” in one step, “her” in the next).While the steps are directed towards romantic relationships, they do apply to any kind of relationship. Evaluate honestly: Is this relationship healthy, or is it unhealthy?
Be objective as you analyze how things have changed since this relationship began: * Are you enjoying elevated esteem from your friends & family, or are they looking at you sideways?
As your relationship with a new person in your life has developed, you find your old friends falling away, while family members remark on how you don’t seem like yourself.