And let me say at the outset that, if you feel you are in an abusive relationship based on the definition I just gave, seek help immediately. Develop the skill of being a good listener, which is one of the hardest skills to develop. " Always make sure you've fully understood what the other person has said.Being a good listener means you don't interrupt your spouse. A simple tool to use for this is the well known "mirroring technique." You reflect back what the other person has said.When I own my feelings and opinions by using an I-statement, I am communicating that I am taking responsibility for the issue and not blaming my spouse.
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