And then there are the Southern women who just call it common sense. In my mid-singles ward there is a consistent 3:1 ratio. Three beautiful and talented women for every single man. Plain and simple, it can feel like a competition to get the attention of the good guys and get a date.In my current ward we have about 400 people attending on an average Sunday.So when The Rules suggest that a woman should never instigate a conversation, or angle herself into the seat beside his, invite him over first, etc., it might seem like a really bad strategy. I’ve been a Rules Girl, and I’ve been the anti-Rules Girl. (It’s possible she only ever planned the dinner just for this reason.) Every Sunday she makes it a point to talk to him, sit near but not too close to him, and repeats the same at family home evening, and Institute during the week.How else will a guy ever notice you in a sea of other women, if you don’t help him out a bit? I’ve asked out men, and I’ve patiently waited and wished for a man to ask me out. She conveniently got his phone number when she invited him over for dinner. How much more does she have to do to get him to ask her out or fall in love with her? If she had never done any of that, she wouldn’t have to ask.Here is the upside for the women- the reason why you should put your baking pans away, and stop being the go-getter. Without The Rules, you may throw more parties, and talk to him more, but you’ll never know if he was ever interested in you or the parties.You’ll never have to send another text to your sister analyzing his every move.You can meet a new person, have a fabulous conversation with them, and then it may be months before you spot the person at church again.There are so many people in our ward it can feel like Where’s Waldo in there week after week. Girl invites Guy over for dinner with her roommate and a few friends.
The important thing is to compare ourselves to the correct standards.
She doesn’t mind that she’s instigates everything because she’s a social butterfly. They spend enough time together they were practically a couple. But would that happen in a women-dense population where the men expect the woman to flock to them, bake them treats, and invite them to parties? If a man is interested, he’ll find a way to meet the woman.