Three days after I had our daughter, he was on two of his ex girlfriends’ Facebook pages! He thinks I overreact but I don’t because it hurts me! Hides his phone whenever someone calls and when I ask who it is, he says “don’t worry about it, you’re too nosy!I couldn’t trust him around our daughter because his addiction as calls it, was so bad! ”He has been really distant lately, coming home from work and getting directly in the shower.“They’re still getting over their ex,” “they just need more time,” or (ugh) “they’re scared of commitment,” but the fact is when someone meets the right person, they can’t propose marriage, or a joint rental agreement quick enough.Of course, there’s always the chance that I’m (shocker) wrong – maybe eight weeks is far too early to call it – maybe I’m going to miss out on swathes of wonderful, slightly indecisive men who need longer than a couple of months to decide if they want to be in a relationship.They’ll end up with women much more nurturing and patient than I, who realised that all they needed was a bit of time and gentle guidance.Maybe I’m being old fashioned and just plain unrealistic to think that I should wait for someone who’s actually interested enough to want to chase me, who knows for certain from the out that they want a relationship with me – and who doesn’t need talking into the bloody thing.Earlier this year, The New York Times published an article called “The End of Courtship?
“I’ve never willingly called any of the women I’ve been out with my girlfriends – even the ones I’ve lived with.That’s like being awarded a relationship through squatter’s rights.And if you land a boyfriend that way and then ‘win’ (and by ‘win,’ I mean you get the ultimate prize – marriage) then can you ever really relax, knowing they were so blasé about you when you first met that it took them six months, nine months, a year to refer to you as their girlfriend?We can be in touch with our potential paramours all the time – via texts, on Facebook, on email – and this constant contact can be misleading – giving us the impression that we’re embroiled in something much more meaningful than we really are. My reasoning being that if someone doesn’t feel strongly enough about me after a couple of months, then they’re never going to feel strongly enough for me to spend time and energy on them.