“Even though you feel special, you realize they don’t even really know you.Real intimacy requires a lot of sharing and listening, and you might walk away feeling really tired and drained and realize they mostly just talk about themselves.”It may seem as if narcissists are so full of themselves that they don’t need anyone reminding them how great they are, but that’s exactly what they need.If you’re dating a narcissist, it might be hard to get them to care about what you’re going through, whether that’s the death of a loved one or just a hard day at work.Lack of empathy is a primary hallmark of narcissistic personality disorder.All the time.“We all have a need to feel love and respected deep down, but narcissists don’t have an internal supply of it like other people,” Kane says.Because of that, she says they may actually suck you dry with their constant craving for compliments and attention. Narcissists can be such great manipulators that it takes someone who’s dating them quite a while to even pick up on it. (The most recent Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Medical Disorders lists nine criteria for narcissistic personality disorder, but specifies that an individual only needs to meet five of them to qualify as a clinical narcissist.) Ahead, psychotherapists share nine signs you might be dating a narcissist — and how to deal if you are.…mostly because they never feel like they’re doing anything wrong, says Paulette Kouffman Sherman, a New York City-based psychotherapist and relationship expert.
Since narcissists see their significant others as extensions of themselves, they might have a different reaction than most partners when things don't go as planned (for example if you lose your job or go through an emotionally difficult time).“They’re very concerned with their reputation, and you add to their reputation since they’re dating you."It makes the person who’s dating them caught in a cycle of feeling like there’s something wrong with them.And if there’s something wrong with leave them, "they get enraged — they can’t tolerate that you see them in a negative light," Kane says.If you need empathy, know that you’ll probably have to get it from other sources.